Couple Image First Date Advice
Here are some things that you should not do on a first date, or second date, or third date and even longer. There are some mistakes that many women make early on in dating which drive a man away early on. They are then left wondering why he didn’t call back when they thought the date went well. These are more common than you would think and lots of women have no absolutely no idea where they are going wrong. Check this list to see whether any of these apply to you and eliminate these bad habits from your early dating experiences. I promise you that your dating success will improve drastically when you take this first date advice.
Don’t Act As If You Are Already In a Relationship With Him
Want to know the quickest way to lose a man? From his perspective (and actually that of any normal person), you will appear deranged or desperate if you act like you’re in a relationship with him on date one. He will label you as a bunny boiler and, in extreme cases, may disappear by escaping through the toilet window before the end of the date.
Do not act like you are already in a relationship with him on date one or any other date in the first few months. In fact, don’t assume that you are in a relationship with him, until he says so. Men are much slower to commit to a relationship than women and he may not even be thinking about having a relationship with you in the early dating stages. This is top first date advice. Don’t blow it with this one!
Don’t Talk Too Much
Remember that you are a date, it is not an interview or interrogation. Even if you are nervous don’t be tempted to talk all the time to fill the gaps. Listening is an important skill in relationships so learn to listen at least as much as you talk. Learn to be happy with a gap in the conversation every now and again. If you are not, then you may find yourself filling it with all the things listed here that he really doesn’t want to know about. If you talk too much he may perceive that as insecurity or lack of self confidence. Don’t allow the contents of your mind to just come gushing out. Men don’t need to hear all that.
Don’t Give Out Signs That You Are Desperate
Whatever it is you are desperate for, be it a relationship, or you want to get married; if your body clock is ticking and you’re desperate to have kids, don’t tell him! Take my advice and keep it to yourself on a first date. Men only like to take on responsibility on their own terms. They can smell desperation a mile off and they will run in the opposite direction. Being desperate for something will rarely get you what you want. But it will easily drive it away from you. Learning to be happy with what you have now will give you an excellent base to build upon in your quest for a dream relationship.
Don’t Let Him Know That You Are Still Friends With Your Ex
Ooh, don’t do this one! I did it once, thinking how impressed he would be with what a balanced mature person I was in that I could have such a good relationship with my ex, after quite a bad breakup. Men are territorial creatures and, although a little competition is good for them at times, they don’t want to think that an ex still has a hold on you. Game over within a week of my admission! Apparently it was eating away at him for a few days before I found out and he tortured me for a while afterwards too.
In Fact Avoid All Talk of Exes As Far As Possible
Don’t talk too much about your ex or exes in the beginning of any relationship. It is unlikely to help you get close to the new man in your life. Give minimum details about your ex only if you have to. Don’t be tempted to go into detail about the bad things that happened in your previous relationship(s) and how unhappy he made you. Whilst it’s OK for us women to be open with each other about this kind of stuff, he will think you have no self respect if you paint yourself as a victim. He will then lose his respect for you and won’t want to get to know you further. Take my advice and steer clear of any ex-related conversation on a first date. He will not feel comfortable with any emotionally charged content at this stage.
Avoid Negative Emotions
Don’t even think about being negative or highly emotional on a first date. Men are not comfortable with displays of negative emotions. Whilst you may be able to get away with this with a man that you have been intimate with for a while, again, you will be put in the “bunny boiler” category if you do this early on in dating. If he brings up such emotions in you on the first date then either he is a psycho and you are better off without him, or you have serious problems which you need to deal with. It is not normal to cry, scream or get angry on a first date. Take my advice and don’t do it.
Don’t Tell Lies or Be Economical With The Truth
Being dishonest is never a good idea and is certainly not a good way to start a relationship. If you’ve lied about anything at all, even if you have a good reason for doing so, he may find himself having a hard time trusting you in the future. Examples of this include where you don’t live up to his expectations, such as in the case where you met online and perhaps lied about your age or weight. If being honest doesn’t work, then being economical with the truth is highly unlikely to work instead.
Don’t Give Him The Impression That You Undervalue Yourself or Don’t Respect Yourself
This may happen in many different ways and it is important to be aware of these and be careful what you talk about. If you let him take advantage of you sexually, emotionally or in any other way; if you give too much; if you talk negatively about yourself or you are too modest to be able to say anything good about yourself; if you are needy or put yourself down, you probably fit into this category. A man wants someone who respects herself, isn’t going to be immediately emotionally dependent upon him, and who isn’t going to look to him to provide her happiness and security. You need to learn to love yourself before anyone else can do it for you. Anything else just won’t work.
Don’t Give Him a List of Rules of What You Will and Won’t Tolerate From Him
This won’t go down well with a man on a first date. It will come across as far too serious and let him know that you’ve been burned by previous relationships. A man isn’t always actively looking for a relationship; he may just be looking for a woman who meet his needs for fun and female company. When he finally meets a woman who stands out from all the rest, this is when he decides to settle down. It is good to have your own terms and conditions, and your boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate from a man early on, but giving him a list of rules on the first date will make him run a mile. It will make being with you seem like work rather than fun to him.
Don’t Sleep With Him
Really – just don’t! A man will happily sleep with you but then he won’t tend to want a relationship with you if it happens too early. This is almost as bad as acting like you’re in a relationship with him already! Well, you wouldn’t be sleeping with him unless you were in a relationship with him would you? Or perhaps you just got carried away with the chemistry? Whatever your reason for committing this top dating sin, and whatever lines he used to get you into bed, a man does not see you as potential for a relationship if you sleep with him too early. He is busy wondering whether you do this with every man you date. You are now just someone he can have sex with until he meets the woman that doesn’t give in so easily.
First Date Advice – What Should You Do?
Keep it light and fun whilst looking out for number 1 – that’s you, not him! Respect and take care of yourself as first priority, without abusing or mistreating him. Follow this advice for at least a few dates, probably more. Men will try and push your boundaries, they will try and push you into sleeping with them, and if you do, they will probably dump you. This isn’t unfair, it’s just nature! Not all men are like this, but you won’t know until it’s too late. Therefore err on the side of caution.
After each date, let him pursue you so that you know how interested he is. It’s OK to give him a reminder that you are interested but don’t bombard him with your attentions if you want to keep his interest long-term. Don’t get attached too early on however cute he is. Keep your options open. Mutual respect is important. Don’t let him lose respect for you by doing the things listed above and you give yourself a chance of finding the great relationship you are looking for. I wish you love and luck.